This weekend was something. I alluded last week to working on a final comment collection push for my environmental activism, and on Friday we got the news that our work over the last five (!!!) years has paid off. Cue excitement and frenzy, plus a meeting with the utilities company—wherein they actually let me in the building. (A story we’ve been passing around for a year has something to do with their security people kicking me out…) We’d been planning an end-of-comment-period celebratory party tonight, but now we’re going to be celebrating even more.

This, and my weekend part-time job, and apple picking yesterday, and managing my depression and migraines (major headache last night, and major depression Friday night), and I’m pretty out of it. How are you doing? I’m really feeling like a person with disabilities today. All my spoons are used up, and I need to borrow from tomorrow’s for tonight’s event. It’s pretty intense. It’s re-shaping the way I look at life, having to think about managing my reserves this way. I don’t look sick. I look like a young, vibrant, joyful young woman a lot of the time, and that’s how I’ve been brought up to see myself. It really clashes with how I feel lately. Sometimes I wonder how much I could do if I didn’t deal with illnesses. I think I’d be a superhero, considering all I do while dealing with an unhappy body!

So I’m learning patience with myself and my body and re-shaping my narrative of myself.

How about some Tarot for this coming week, huh? I’d like a quiet week where the most I have to deal with is a cat on my lap most of the day. How about you?

Queen of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles, and 9 of Pentacles

It’s really autumn now that it’s October, so it’s a good time to revisit hearth and home, the grounding element of Earth that the Pentacles rule. This suit is the suit of what I said before: quiet time to snuggle a cat, eat apples picked yourself from the tree, and recharge with the energy the Earth can provide. The pentacle in 5 of Pentacles resembles a fire, even, to remind us to get cosy, maybe build a fire, drink some tea, and not worry too much about what’s going on outside, just take care of your own energy.

The 9 of Pentacles is a bit tricky, though. She seems ready to pass on a message: if you’re not going to slow down and let some grounding energy into your life, something you don’t like will happen. Something unbalanced. Got it, Lady 9. This week, I’ll make applesauce and deal with the bare minimum to live.

What about you? What makes you feel secure and comfortable when autumn arrives?